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Things ER patients say

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Author Things ER patients say

UrgentEmergencies

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UrgentEmergencies

  • Joined: Jun 2013
  • Location:
  • Posts: 1

Sun Jun 23, 2013 12:06 pm Last edited Jun 23, 2013, 12:55 pm Update #1

I work in ER. I love triaging patients because I get to hear things that you would not normally hear anywhere else. 

These are just a few examples of some of the profound conversations taking place at triage desk (I have a lot more ER stories to share on my blog urgentemergencies.blogspot.ca)  :

Nurse: "On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is your pain?"

Patient: "10."

Nurse: "So this is the worst pain you've ever had?"

Patient: "No, I've definitely had worse."

Nurse: "So, out of 10, what would you rate your pain at?"

Patient: "10."

 

Patient: "The last time I was here I had pneumonia. They were gonna intubate me but I left."

 

Patient: "I had an ectopic pregnancy once but nobody could find it."

Nurse: "So how did you know you had it?"

Patient: "I could feel it was there. But then I hit myself in the stomach with a broom and used other objects and I dislodged it."

Nurse: "???"

 

Nurse: "From 1 to 10, 10 being the worst pain you can imagine, how bad is your pain?"

Patient: "12."

Nurse: "10 being the worst pain you can imagine."

Patient: "12."

Nurse: "OK."

 

And my all time favorite:

 

Nurse: "Do you have chest pain?"

Patient: "No, but I do have pain in my chest."

modified: Sunday 23 June 2013 12:56:54 pm - UrgentEmergencies

djmed

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Serge
  • Joined: Nov 2016
  • Location: Sydney
  • Posts: 5

Nov 18, 2016, 10:48 am

1. “May I have a glass of water? I just want to check if my throat leaks.”

2. “Oh I’m just so constipated! Please bring me some eye drops!”

3. “I’m here for my scheduled seduction (sedation).”

4. “I am scheduled to have an autopsy (biopsy) in the morning.”