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Author Welcome to the Nursing Humour Forum

Darren

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Your country needs you!

  • Joined: Mar 2005
  • Location: Adelaide
  • Posts: 172

Mon Apr 18, 2005 1:04 pm

Welcome to the Nursing Humour Forum.

This forum is for sharing those amazing and funny experiences that happen to nurses. Remember that the forums are publicly viewable, so keep your content suitable for general consumption, some of the stories I've heard are not suitable for print :)
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Nurse Nancy

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  • Joined: Jun 2005
  • Location: Gippsland
  • Posts: 3

Jun 23, 2005, 06:00 pm

Why is it that since I stated nursing I've become vegetarian, and can't look at soft serve icecream without gagging?  Hmmmmm.  Sorry - it's not really funny, just thinking out loud.

elvira

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  • Joined: May 2006
  • Location:
  • Posts: 4

May 25, 2006, 11:00 pm

working in psychiatry you are constantly coming across patients saying strange things or doing even stranger, here's one incident ...... Schizophrenic 24yo very chronic comes in for admission, is taken to high dependancy area where is searched for lighters and possible weapons. one of the nurses nitices a small white stick hanging from the hairs in his butt crack, when challenged the pt states "i was looking for my chuppa chup". The pt was then sent to shower with instructions to remove said chuppa chup only to come out og shower with chuppa chup in mouth asking staff if they would like a suck as it was good for another 3hrs and 6 mins sucking.

Cazbah

(offline)

Cazbah
  • Joined: Aug 2005
  • Location: Adelaide
  • Posts: 3

Sep 08, 2006, 11:36 am

Joke for you

An elderly gentleman had hearing problems for several years. He went to the doctor who fitted him with hearing aids. This allowed the old gentleman to hear properly. The elderly gentleman went back to the doctor a month later, the doctor said "Your hearing is now perfect, your family must be really pleased you can hear again."

The elderly gentlman replied "I haven't told my family yet. I sit around listening to their conversations and Ive changed my will 3 times in the last month!"

Liz

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  • Joined: Sep 2007
  • Location: Brisbane
  • Posts: 79

Oct 11, 2007, 11:30 am

hehe last prac, I was doing the medication/observation round and I asked one of the patients if his bowels have opened? He looked at me for 1 second and cracked up laughing and he was like what sort of question is that lol.

cakers

(offline)

  • Joined: Oct 2008
  • Location: QLD
  • Posts: 44

Oct 23, 2008, 11:09 am

I had an older resident at the breakfast table look at me and say "Last night I was shaking and shaking. Some one gave me a Scotch on the Rocks and I was instantly better".
Myself, couldn't help but laugh out loud a little stating, 'You must have had the DT's". Fellow residents were laughing with us.

Annaphylaxis

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  • Joined: Apr 2010
  • Location: Darwin
  • Posts: 3

Apr 27, 2010, 11:33 am

Graduate Nurse Vs experienced Nurse.

A graduate nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls house keeping.

A graduate nurse wears so many pins on her name badge you can’t read it.
An experienced nurse doesn’t wear a name badge for liability reasons.

A graduate nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
An experienced nurse lies about their profession.

A graduate nurse makes detailed notes in a note pad.
An experienced nurse writes on her hand, napkins, paper scraps etc.

A graduate nurse will spend all day trying to orient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.

A graduate nurse thinks people respect nurses.
An experienced nurse knows people blame everything on nurses.

A graduate nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anyone.

A graduate nurse will spend days bladder training a patient.
An experienced nurse inserts a catheter.

A graduate nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A graduate nurse carries reference books in her bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, cigarettes and some "cough mixture" in her bag.

A graduate nurse doesn’t think this is funny.
An experienced nurse thinks this is funny and true.

marizandres

(offline)

  • Joined: Aug 2010
  • Location: Arizona
  • Posts: 12

Aug 20, 2010, 12:17 pm

Here's another joke:

A little 8 year old boy wanted to be circumcised when he realized he looked different than dad and his friends. The day after the proceedure he returned to school. During class, he became uncomfortable and asked for permission to go to the nurse.

When he arrived at her office, he hesitated and finally just asked if he could call his mother. Sensing this was personal, the nurse stepped into the hall and closed the door to allow him privacy. Several minutes later the little boy came out of her office and the nurse noticed his penis was sticking out of his pants.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Back to class," said the boy.

"But you can't go back like that!" explained the nurse.

"I have to," stressed the boy. "My mother said that if I could just stick it out until lunchtime, she would come and pick me up."

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