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How do you know you are a nurse?

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Author How do you know you are a nurse?




  • Joined: Mar 2007
  • Location:
  • Posts: 62

Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:07 am

any answers?

To start it off: when you have an overwhelming desire to meet the person who designed the buzzer system, and its not to thank them...

Rotator Cuff


  • Joined: May 2007
  • Location: Brisbane
  • Posts: 85

Jul 06, 2007, 11:23 am

hi tropicana,

at the end of a shift, with buzzing left right and centre, i certainly liked to put it elsewhere................. know what I mean! Had a buzzer that got dropped in toilet, it drowned and no longer worked, it got replaced with another one. I reckon we would be good on quiz shows, always got hand on buzzer.


Rotator Cuff


  • Joined: May 2007
  • Location: Brisbane
  • Posts: 85

Jul 06, 2007, 04:56 pm

Here is a little nursing humour that happened on a shift one evening.

Doing pad change to a resident whilst she was watching football. About to roll resident to side to check pad, and resident said she can't see TV. Would not be long in doing this was the reply to resident. Her reply: "Well that's Ok, I just use my third eye to watch TV." I was laughing so much, almost to the point of crying. That made my evening.




  • Joined: Oct 2007
  • Location:
  • Posts: 6

Oct 23, 2007, 02:17 am

has anyone found when you speak to someone and you mention that you're a nurse, they will always start to talk to you about their bowel habits? i get it all the time!



  • Joined: May 2006
  • Location: Adelaide
  • Posts: 51

Oct 23, 2007, 12:14 pm

Bowel problems, and then the rest of them, its like free advice :)



  • Joined: Sep 2007
  • Location: Brisbane
  • Posts: 79

Oct 23, 2007, 09:10 pm

I found this web link from this forum.

These two cartoons are so funny, and the first one is sooo true!



  • Joined: Oct 2007
  • Location:
  • Posts: 3

Oct 24, 2007, 07:38 pm

I think when you know you are a nurse is when you feel like you look forward to meeting different people, and actually enjoying hearing their stories of all kinds, i think been still new to the world of nursing, i'm still looking forward to going to work and becoz i'm not so close to my grandparents i love looking after elderlys and hearing their stories from the past, is jus a enjoy of the day. =)



  • Joined: Nov 2007
  • Location: Community Health
  • Posts: 5

Nov 08, 2007, 03:04 pm

Hi faye86,
I don't it's that you ar new- I have been nursing for over 20years and I still love chatting with patients and hearing their stories... I think you just might be in the right profession.



  • Joined: Nov 2007
  • Location:
  • Posts: 23

Nov 12, 2007, 01:56 pm

You know you're a nurse when...

Your partner catches you pretending to lovingly caress their arm, but are really you are checking out their veins..!



  • Joined: Apr 2007
  • Location: Central Queensland
  • Posts: 4

Aug 06, 2008, 10:20 pm

You Know You’re A Nurse When…

The front of your scrubs read “Nurses … here to save your ass,
not kiss it!”

You occasionally park in the space with the “Physicians Only”
sign, and knock it over.

You believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to
kill them.

You recognize that you can’t cure stupid.

You have seen more moons than the Hubbell telescope.

You own at least three pens with the names of prescription
medications on them.

You never get into arguments with an idiots because they only
bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

You hope there’s a special place in Hell for the inventor of the
call light.

You believe that saying, “It can’t get any worse” causes it to get
worse just to show you it can.

You wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.

You’ve ever thought a blood pressure cuff would be an excellent
gift for Christmas.

You’ve ever spent more money on a stethoscope than on a car

You believe any job where you can drive to work in pajamas is a
cool job.

The ER is a mixture of can do, can’t do, and why the hell not!

You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.

You know it’s a full moon without having to look at the sky.

Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly

You’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form
of birth control.

You’ve ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve
earrings say, “I’m afraid of shots.”

You’ve ever bet on someone’s blood alcohol level.



  • Joined: Apr 2007
  • Location: Central Queensland
  • Posts: 4

Aug 06, 2008, 10:28 pm

You know you're a nurse if...

You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.

Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.

You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.

You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash backs."

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

You can intubate your friends at parties.

You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.

You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the Doctor is more difficult."

You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to YELL if they need help.

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer.

You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.

You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You've sworn you're going to have "DO NOT RESUSCITATE" tattooed on your chest.

Senior RN


  • Joined: Dec 2008
  • Location:
  • Posts: 24

Dec 26, 2008, 10:23 am

Gee, I'm not sure about some of those things....

Sounds a touch 'bipolar' there....



  • Joined: Sep 2009
  • Location: North Brisbane
  • Posts: 38

Sep 13, 2009, 11:19 am

you know you're an ICU nurse...

...when 20 drips doesnt scare you but a talking patient does.



  • Joined: Apr 2010
  • Location: Darwin
  • Posts: 3

Apr 27, 2010, 11:31 am

Graduate Nurse Vs experienced Nurse.

A graduate nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls house keeping.

A graduate nurse wears so many pins on her name badge you can’t read it.
An experienced nurse doesn’t wear a name badge for liability reasons.

A graduate nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
An experienced nurse lies about their profession.

A graduate nurse makes detailed notes in a note pad.
An experienced nurse writes on her hand, napkins, paper scraps etc.

A graduate nurse will spend all day trying to orient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.

A graduate nurse thinks people respect nurses.
An experienced nurse knows people blame everything on nurses.

A graduate nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anyone.

A graduate nurse will spend days bladder training a patient.
An experienced nurse inserts a catheter.

A graduate nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A graduate nurse carries reference books in her bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, cigarettes and some "cough mixture" in her bag.

A graduate nurse doesn’t think this is funny.
An experienced nurse thinks this is funny and true.



  • Joined: Apr 2014
  • Location: Adelaide
  • Posts: 1

Apr 27, 2014, 06:53 pm

when you can tell gross work stories to friends while eating your dinner..

when asked 'whats that smell' and you reply 'what smell?'

you can diagnose whats wrong with a patient by their palor, fecal smell/colour or urine smell/colour



  • Joined: Oct 2013
  • Location:
  • Posts: 64

Jul 15, 2016, 06:06 am

I know that I am a nurse because of the following:

I feel good when I take good care of my patients.  

I understand what there needs are sometimes even before they say what they need.

I hold their hand when they are frightened or scared about a diagnosis.  

I am their cheerleader when they are cancer free.

I am their voice when they need an advocate.

I listen to their every need and every story.

I love nursing and the whole profession; even though it is a hard job at times.  It is rewarding to help others and that is why I became a nurse.  



  • Joined: Oct 2013
  • Location:
  • Posts: 64

Aug 19, 2016, 05:08 am

I know that I am a nurse when I talk in nursing Morse Code.  I can tell my nursing friends "Hey, did you see the patient X that had a big red spot on their arm?"  I can talk to my friends who are also nurses and we can use Morse Code in a way that helps us talk to each other.  It is always a good idea to use that sort of jargon talking so that only people that understand it can reference it and understand it.  To me, that is when I know that I am a nurse.



  • Joined: Nov 2016
  • Location:
  • Posts: 3

Nov 28, 2016, 09:49 pm

Absolutely loved reading these so funny :) 



  • Joined: Mar 2017
  • Location: Chicago
  • Posts: 22

Jun 21, 2017, 09:35 pm

Haha yes, the moment they realize that you are a nurse. They start asking about bowl and health problem to get free advice on the spot.