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My heartfelt condolences.

My situation was a little different in that my Pop had commenced palliative care .
Four months before he passed I relocated to the other side of the country to be with him every day which I am so grateful but the last month i was with him was really tough as I finally got to see how much he was suffering and it broke me so i decided to take a quick trip back to my hometown for my partners birthday. We went out for drinks and a movie with friends in the afternoon and I had literally just sat down on the couch with my laptop to book my flight back to my grandad when i got the call he was gone. It took me a really long time to stop being angry at myself for not being there - nothing anybody said to me helped I just needed time to process.

I was working in a palliative care unit at an aged care facility at the time and each loss felt so personal. I spoke with my team and told them what I was going through and they were amazing - my supervisor gave me a phrase to use in times where I was overwhelmed and then my coworkers knew that i needed some air and they would cover me for a break. There were times I didnt even realise I was crying and times I just fell apart because it was so raw.

I won't lie, it was a massive struggle for me and it honestly just takes time. You have to be gentle with yourself, talk about how your feeling and get yourself a solid self care routine (I would go home and go for a run and just cry, then have a hot shower and pour a glass of wine for the housemate and myself and we would talk it out) xx

Author	Nursing after grief
melaniecharlton (offline) Joined: Dec 2013 Location: Berowra, NSW Posts: 7	Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:06 am I just lost my dad who was only just 60. It was an unexpected death. He caught the flu a week ago which developed into pneumonia. He suffered a horrible death in ICU. To worsen matters I was not here to see him. I was mid air flying home when he passed. Mum told me he suffered and fought not to go. I am so anxious now about returning to nursing. I envision seeing dad in every sick patient I nurse. The guilt of not being there for dad is immense. How do other nurses get over this? I am so upset.

NursePenny (offline) Joined: Jul 2018 Location: Brisbane Posts: 1	Jul 20, 2018, 10:05 am My heartfelt condolences. My situation was a little different in that my Pop had commenced palliative care . Four months before he passed I relocated to the other side of the country to be with him every day which I am so grateful but the last month i was with him was really tough as I finally got to see how much he was suffering and it broke me so i decided to take a quick trip back to my hometown for my partners birthday. We went out for drinks and a movie with friends in the afternoon and I had literally just sat down on the couch with my laptop to book my flight back to my grandad when i got the call he was gone. It took me a really long time to stop being angry at myself for not being there - nothing anybody said to me helped I just needed time to process. I was working in a palliative care unit at an aged care facility at the time and each loss felt so personal. I spoke with my team and told them what I was going through and they were amazing - my supervisor gave me a phrase to use in times where I was overwhelmed and then my coworkers knew that i needed some air and they would cover me for a break. There were times I didnt even realise I was crying and times I just fell apart because it was so raw. I won't lie, it was a massive struggle for me and it honestly just takes time. You have to be gentle with yourself, talk about how your feeling and get yourself a solid self care routine (I would go home and go for a run and just cry, then have a hot shower and pour a glass of wine for the housemate and myself and we would talk it out) xx

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Nursing after grief